Hi reader, is low self-confidence getting in the way of you meeting and attracting women? If so, you might be thinking: "I have to become more confident in order to have success with women."
But is this really the problem?
If you believe that it is, you are about to learn how you are more confident than you believe you are. You're also about to learn how you can transfer that confidence to your relating with women...
So Are Your Confident or Not?
When you think about it, this question is really impossible to answer. First, you have to find a way to put the question into context. For example, is the question whether or not you are confident in your ability to drive a car?
What about in your ability to eat without getting food all over yourself? Your ability to walk? Your ability to talk?
How confident are you in your ability to do the one thing that you are best at and the most interested in? This one thing could be a hobby, your career, or something that you just do for fun. Nevertheless, everyone has at least a handful of things that they are completely confident in.
But you know what? ALL of these things that you are now confident in were once extremely difficult for you. So how did you build confidence in your ability to do them?
You practiced, you failed, you learned from your failures and you reapplied yourself to practice. You didn't sit by and say: "I can't learn to do this because I might fail, or someone might laugh at me." You didn't care if you failed or if people laughed at you, neither did you allow these things to effect the value that you put on yourself as a human being. Instead, you were absolutely committed to learning to walk or to drive or to talk or to do whatever it is that you now do very well.
So what does this mean when it comes to building unshakable confidence in relating with women?
Start Getting Some Practice and Start Failing
It's time to set aside pride and give yourself an opportunity to build true confidence. Which one do you think that a woman will find more attractive? If the answer is confidence, then you have to build your confidence in relating with women the same way you built your confidence in the ability to talk or walk or drive a car.
This means that you just have to get out and get in the game, and practice and fail until you become competent at meeting women. With competence comes confidence, and with confidence comes attraction.
On the other hand, you can continue to try with positive affirmations and psych yourself out in an attempt to build "confidence." The problem is that since this kind of confidence is not built by a process of practice and learning from failure, it is a false sense of confidence which is based on illusion instead of true competence.
Confidence which is based on illusion is what causes a person to charge full blast into something with full conviction that they are going to win. The problem is that once such a person enters into the natural learning process, which comes from failure and trial and error, they are disillusioned and their "confidence" is crushed.
Just think about it this way, would you rather march into battle with someone who had genuine confidence based on a lot of practice and experience, or someone with no experience who had simply used positive thinking to get themselves there?
So as an exercise in building confidence, make a commitment to approach three women a day and say something very simple like: "Good morning." This will get you started in building genuine confidence which only comes from real-life experience.
But is this really the problem?
If you believe that it is, you are about to learn how you are more confident than you believe you are. You're also about to learn how you can transfer that confidence to your relating with women...
So Are Your Confident or Not?
When you think about it, this question is really impossible to answer. First, you have to find a way to put the question into context. For example, is the question whether or not you are confident in your ability to drive a car?
What about in your ability to eat without getting food all over yourself? Your ability to walk? Your ability to talk?
How confident are you in your ability to do the one thing that you are best at and the most interested in? This one thing could be a hobby, your career, or something that you just do for fun. Nevertheless, everyone has at least a handful of things that they are completely confident in.
But you know what? ALL of these things that you are now confident in were once extremely difficult for you. So how did you build confidence in your ability to do them?
You practiced, you failed, you learned from your failures and you reapplied yourself to practice. You didn't sit by and say: "I can't learn to do this because I might fail, or someone might laugh at me." You didn't care if you failed or if people laughed at you, neither did you allow these things to effect the value that you put on yourself as a human being. Instead, you were absolutely committed to learning to walk or to drive or to talk or to do whatever it is that you now do very well.
So what does this mean when it comes to building unshakable confidence in relating with women?
Start Getting Some Practice and Start Failing
It's time to set aside pride and give yourself an opportunity to build true confidence. Which one do you think that a woman will find more attractive? If the answer is confidence, then you have to build your confidence in relating with women the same way you built your confidence in the ability to talk or walk or drive a car.
This means that you just have to get out and get in the game, and practice and fail until you become competent at meeting women. With competence comes confidence, and with confidence comes attraction.
On the other hand, you can continue to try with positive affirmations and psych yourself out in an attempt to build "confidence." The problem is that since this kind of confidence is not built by a process of practice and learning from failure, it is a false sense of confidence which is based on illusion instead of true competence.
Confidence which is based on illusion is what causes a person to charge full blast into something with full conviction that they are going to win. The problem is that once such a person enters into the natural learning process, which comes from failure and trial and error, they are disillusioned and their "confidence" is crushed.
Just think about it this way, would you rather march into battle with someone who had genuine confidence based on a lot of practice and experience, or someone with no experience who had simply used positive thinking to get themselves there?
So as an exercise in building confidence, make a commitment to approach three women a day and say something very simple like: "Good morning." This will get you started in building genuine confidence which only comes from real-life experience.
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